old lying coot

"what's the new profile picture, gramps?"

"me"

"no way"

"of course not i'm a fat bearded guy"

"if that one gta rp video says anything, i reckon that might actually be you"

"that wasnt me in the confession"

"you sure look lively and action fueled in that picture; yes it was you admitted to it"

"i admitted i was the person in my discord picture too"

"what was the special occasion"

"i was in amsterdam in 1999 "

get with the times, old man

"is that game something people actually like? i thought it was a meme"

"sabaton is a band. hearts of iron is a game. you may have confused the two"

"no i mean roblox; ive neverh eard of sabaton so i can't judge them"

"i mean it is very widely played so yes. i have been playing it since two thousand and fifteen so its kinda infused"

"show me a screenshot of your character"

"sup. it was that or doctor mario, or the tf2 scout, or this fucking obnoxious weezer shirt. my friend had a game that made hella cash on the platform and i got like ~200usd in on-platform money"

"he looks like a nazi or something"

"AY AY AY WRONG TIME PERIOD"

words of the wise

"trim, dont shave."

tekken 7, exhibit 1

"THIS IS THE 30TH FUCKING TIME IVE LOST"

"PROBABLY MORE"

"I AHTE THIS GAME"

"on the bright side it's only the 18th time in a row"

"NO IT ISNT"

"BEFORE MY TEKKEN 2 MENU MUSIC STOPPED WORKING IT WAS MORE"

"FUCK YOU"

"I FUCKING HATE YOU"

"i hate you so fucking much hoyl shit hoyl sholy shit"

"i am fuming steam out of my goddan years"

":)"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP"

"SHUT UP"

tekken 7, exhibit 2

"i was kidding i'm having as much fun as kicking a brick over and over again"

"lmao"

"dude, just win"

"me watching myself get fucking bodied for the 23rd time in a row"

"just try harder bro"

gottem

"this is how mad i get when i see you aren't on tekken"

"give me a month to get over my newly ignited terraria phase"

"you"

"why is he floppa"

"floppa?"

"CACKLED"

"THAT ONE GOES TO THE COUNCIL"

"floppa"

"i hate you"

words of the wise, edition 2

"he has a dog where he sends in the dog"

easiest 15 bucks ive ever made

"gimme fifteen bucks trust me it's academic"

"i am most definitely not begging for money to preorder final fantasy 6's remake releasing on the 23rd of this month"

"no"

"beat me in tekken for it"

"you're on, old man"

"if you can no round brown me ill do it"

"you can even choose who i play"

"what the hell does no round brown mean"

"beat me without me getting a round"

"ok sure i can do that"

"who are you going to make me play?"

"armor king"

"i will die valiantly for what i want"

"dying is romanticized"

"nobody dies valiantly they just die"

"the dead man doesn't care if it's romanticized or not so ill romanticize it all i want until i die"

"you don't know what the undertaker cares about"

"shut up"

"hell in a cell"

"are you ready to lose?"

"no i just got home old man"

"hell in a cell, old man"

"$15 is riding on this"

hes just jealous that he sucks at tekken

"play me for a refund"

"dont be scared"

"im gonna detonate the yellowstone supervolcano and kill you"

"dont do me any favors, kid. lets player"

"playu"

no comment

"i don't get it"

"HOOTED AND HOLLERED READING THAT MESSAGE"

"they're gonna deploy freddy fazbear in russia"

"who the fuck is freddy fazbear?"

what the hell is a rush

"this fucking thing is 15 minutes long"

"it's extended it only loops at like 125"

"0:01:25.00"

"is that even how its formatted"

"it just reminds me of a rush song lol"

"inb4 "who the fuck is rush""

"who the fuck is rush"

"please be kidding"

"you wish"

"god DAMN"

disillusionment

"am i gangsta now grandpa"

"i don't think you'll ever be a gangsta"

"FUCK!!!!"

origins

"why the FUCK is that napkin on the floor"

"go pick it up"

"would you pick it up bill"

"don't lie to me

"practice what you preach old man"

"now go to the church and repent

"last time i went to church i got tourette's"

"what"

cold hard truth

"i am a victim of mkultra"

"what the fuck is a victim"

"play tekken and i'll show you"

"i'm in florida"

"oh, you'll be a victim in no time then"

gentlemen

"get glasses geezer"

"i have glasses"

"very strong thick glasses"

"get better ones"

"it doesn't get better"

"lol"

"a monocle perchance"

"indubitably"

too bad i hate that game

"this is us playing tekken"

"i wish you'd hurry up and beat me so that i can kill myself"

he's DESPERATE for some play

"pick up"

"im up. thanks"

"i was flirting with girls 15 minutes ago so i'm a little late to the party"

"find one with a hot mom"

"why"

"because that's my type"

"i'll swoop in and be your father in law"

"that's too much work"

"i"

"i'd be a good father in law"